But Seriously (Selfish Portraits part 2)

If I don't stop dreaming about these mirrors, I might just
Become what they tell me I'll be.
Confused, then obsessed, by mental reflections
Relentlessly gazing at sad hypotheticals,
Become as I see myself,
Washed out and faded,
Dried up and brittle,
Then stepping out into the rain
To be crushed and laughed at by my former and later selves.
As if I knew I had this coming all along.

Or maybe I would turn it into decency.
Start again, anew, albeit weaker.
Drenched and dripping dirty water until I'm clean.

Or maybe if I just weren't having
Dreams of eerie framed facsimiles of me in different times and places
Then, perhaps, I'd get some sleep, and wake up here tomorrow,
Good as new.
And smile at reflections
Without wondering
Where that creepy smile came from.

Spectrum

Welcome to my dewy eyes,
Shadows, colors, fireflies.
Wink to life and stay awake
For a while.

Through my windows, once opaque,
Bedazzled by the glow they make,
I cling to now, with orbs for eyes,
And smile.

Sorry for the Trouble

[In Defense of the Ego, part 2]

Seated in my skin, and quite comfortable there,
I arrange my disposition.
My skin smiles, and I like you.
But I have better things to do than listen.
And better thoughts without your judgement.
So take my smile, for what it's worth,
And I'm sorry for the trouble.

In Defense of the Ego

As deep as the roots grow, the most
Fundamental order.
Life is narcissism. So is love.

Foundation, my castle,
It drives me up the spiral
Through a life of interactions I
Manipulate and love.

I know you all are castles too,
Despite your proud delusions.

Ignore it, hide it, paint it gold,
And smile and love because it's gone, then
Watch it burn a pyre in your soul.